How Motherhood Has Changed My Friendship Circle For The Better

I’m going to come right out and admit that I was once the sort of person that eye-rolled at mums with prams taking over cafes. I also never understood why mums seemed to always hang out with other mums and why there was even a thing such as mother’s group…

That is, until I became a mum myself. Now? Oh, how things have changed, how life has changed! Let’s just say not only do I understand why mums stick together, I absolutely champion it. Why? Because when you become a mum, friendships change, no matter how much you think they won’t.

When I first became pregnant, I immediately cared less about myself and more about the little human growing inside me, and I’m pretty sure that’s a hard notion to wrap your head around when you aren’t a mum or pregnant yourself. It’s also a strange, life-changing position to be in if you’ve worked in the fashion industry for over 10 years and realise that most of your adult-life has been focusing on things that don’t actually really matter to you anymore. Somebody say wake-up-call? While I was trawling websites and forums on all things baby-related, my friends and colleagues around me were going about their usual business, and somehow along the way, there was a shift happening. I was beginning to crave conversations to help prepare me for parenthood, and I realised that I simply couldn’t get that from a group of friends who hadn’t experienced the same thing.

It was around this time that I made a conscious effort to befriend other expecting women around me so I had a support network to lean on for all things pregnancy, birth and newborn-related, and I have to say it was the smartest thing I’ve ever done. Having a like-minded group of women to call on during the biggest life change you’ll ever go through makes a lot of sense, but it isn’t always easy. Suddenly my friendship circle widened to not only women in the same industry as I was, but all walks of life, and it’s been one of the most surprisingly lovely things that my motherhood journey has brought me so far. Knowing that I have a reliable group of women to call on during all of my parenting ups and downs has given me a fresh outlook on all aspects of life, not just motherhood, and has cemented what’s really important to me.

There’s an unspoken understanding between mums that is hard to describe. When I’m having one of those days/weeks/months, I know I’ll instantly feel better about my situation if I get in touch with a mum friend and let them know how I’m feeling. In a time where women can feel incredibly lonely, insecure and overwhelmed, having a support network of women in the same life-stage as you cannot be underestimated. Although I fell pregnant at a time where I was seeing and spending most of my days and nights with work-friends, I knew I had to reach out to other people if I was ever going to get the support I needed in one of the most life-altering and challenging moments of my life. That’s not to discredit anyone without kids, but I do truly believe that when it comes to motherhood, there are certain experiences that only other mums can relate to.

I now have a trustworthy group of women – my sister, old friends, new friends, colleagues, mothers’ group – on call who I rely on for advice, support, a laugh, a vent and even a cry when I need it most, and they are undoubtedly making this crazy journey that is motherhood a lot more fun. From the girlfriend who texts me at 3am to ask to borrow a breast pump, to the friends who live down the road and are always a pram-stroll away for a coffee, pastry and advice, these are the relationships that mean the world to me when it comes to regaining sanity and putting everything into perspective.

Words: Marisa Remond | Image: Grace Alyssa Kyo | Hair and makeup: Sarina Zoe