Lately, I’ve been feeling more stressed out than usual because I never get through my to-do list. Earlier in the week I was telling my mother how overwhelmed I was feeling...
As usual, she cut straight to the chase. “Darling, you can only do what you can do. Get through as much as you can while the girls are at preschool and when you pick them up, you’re a mother and you focus on being a mother.” She’s right: there are only so many hours in a day. And I am a mother. I need to value that being a mother is just as important as when I’m working. It might not pay the mortgage, but it’s more rewarding and important than any job I’ve ever done before. The thing is, I’m guilty of not valuing motherhood.
When someone asks me how I've been, I often automatically start talking about work, because I still feel like that'll make me sound more interesting...
It sounds so silly actually admitting it. And like many women, I often feel like I should be working when I’m with my children and with my children when I’m working. You can never win, but you can learn to value your role as a mother. Repeat after me: I am a mother and an amazing one at that.
I've listened to seemingly countless women shyly say they're “just a mum” and almost sound apologetic...
Just A Mum. It’s like when you’re in an expensive restaurant and awkwardly say ‘Um just tap water thanks’ and feel like a total cheapskate. There’s nothing wrong with ordering “just tap water”. And whether you’re a stay-at-home or working mother, there’s nothing wrong with talking about yourself as a mum. It’s the biggest job of your life. And the most powerful role you’ll ever play in someone’s life. You’re responsible for shaping the life of your children and guiding them into adulthood. Why don’t we value it more?
Sometimes, I just want to say that I’ve had enough of trying to get through my to-do list...
I’m exhausted. Work can wait. Or that I abandoned my corporate career because, frankly, it was too hard and I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t do it. I can’t have it all. I tried. And it didn’t work out. So now I work part-time for myself from home and juggle that with the day-to-day running of our household. I left my corporate job in magazines behind because I couldn’t do the role I used to do and get home in time to read books to my kids. The reality is that as mothers, we have to make difficult choices that usually result in us feeling guilty. Either we feel like we’ve sacrificed spending time with our children by working or our own career ambitions by not working enough. However you look at it, it’s hard.
No one will give you a promotion or a pay rise for managing the routine details of family life...
Doing the washing, sterilising bottles, taking your child to the doctor, making it to swimming lessons on time, getting your kid to eat broccoli or settling a baby. And there will be times you feel undervalued and like you’ve lost your former self. Imagine if these things were highly valued? They should be highly valued. And we can start valuing them more ourselves.
Just think for a minute about the imprint your own mother has left on your life...
For me, my mother has shaped who I am and I continue to lean on her for support and unconditional love. I am so grateful for everything she’s done for me. She’s not Just A Mum. She’s my everything. And to your children, you are their everything. Always remember that. You are invaluable.
It was only when I became a mother myself that I really appreciated what my mother sacrificed for me...
She retrained as an interior decorator and ran her business from home. She often worked late into the night. She did that so she could pick us up from school and work around our schedules. It was a juggle. We’d drive around to work appointments with her. Dropping off fabrics. Visiting clients. It’s only now I realize she was trying to do juggle it as best she could, just like I am. What I’ve realised over the past few years is that success isn’t about my career anymore. That all changed when I became a mother. To me, success is how happy my little family unit is. Today Lottie did her first ballet class. My heart exploded with love. Today was a huge success because if my girls are smiling, everything else will fall into place.
I hope you love the site this week...
If you haven’t already read the tale of Amanda Booth, you should check it out. Amanda discovered her beautiful baby boy Micah had Down syndrome when he was four months old. She’s beautiful inside and out and her strength is inspiring. So here’s to inspiring mamas and to valuing and respecting the role of mothers around the world. Georgie xx Photograph: Julie Adams Hair and makeup: Elsa Morgan
Thank you for sharing this with us. It’s quite hectic being a mum and working, and trying to remember to focus on your priorities – a happy little family. This post gives me tears but also big smiles. It’s always nice to remember we are all going through the same things.
We’re all in this together and need to support each other as much as we can. One day at a time in my house! xx
Beautiful words. Brings tears to my eyes. We all need to be reminded of this every now and again. Thank you xx