You might think having another baby won’t change your family that much, but this book is here to say, “Two’s a million more kids than one”...
Parents around the world are raising their f*ing glasses today to toast the news that Adam Mansbach, author of the beloved Go The F*k to Sleep, is about to drop another book in the series.
The new book, illustrated by Owen Brozman, is called F*k, Now There Are Two of You, and that sound you can hear is the collective sigh of parents of multiple children saying, “thank f*k for this news”.
Hailed as the sequel to the first book in the series, it’s actually the third book by the comedian, who also penned You have to F*king Eat, for parents of picky eaters.
I’ll be honest with you.
I f*king adored Go the F*k to Sleep.
Because life with children has magical moments – but I want none of them at bedtime.
By bedtime, this mama is done.
I never really had a picky eater, so couldn’t relate to Mansbach’s second book. But, as a mother of three, I can’t wait for this new addition.
Because having more than one baby is simply wonderful – in theory.
When you’re pregnant with your second child, rubbing your growing belly and looking at your precious firstborn, you’re bound to get all misty-eyed, thinking of the wonderful future that awaits your expanding family.
Just imagine the joy of siblings, you think to yourself
My little one will now be a big brother or sister!
There will be even more love in this house!
Sure, your mind may also wander to the less-than-appealing side effects of having more than one offspring, like contemplating how you’ll ever leave the house with two of them.
But the reality – oh the sweet, joyous and utterly terrifying reality – of how much more difficult two children is than one, will likely not hit until your new baby actually arrives.
Only then will you truly be struck by the thought, “f*k, now there are two of you”.
That’s where this new book comes in.
The book starts with this on-point opening:
‘I have wonderful news for you, darling
A little brother or sister is coming – what fun!
As for me, my life’s pretty much f*ked now
Because two’s a million more kids than one.’
The book then turns to how the arrival of a brand-new baby may affect your older child:
‘The baby is growing inside Mama’s tummy.
Put your hand there – you might feel a kick!
Soon you won’t be the focus of all our attention.
Chances are, that will make you a dick.’
While the rest of the book seems to be under wraps for now, with gems like those, I’m eagerly awaiting its arrival.
That’s not to say that life with more than one kid is all bad news. Far from it.
But the truth is, there are times when it can feel just a tad overwhelming (to put it mildly).
Look, I’m sure this book isn’t meant to scare the living bejesus out of you.
So if you’re sitting there looking at your firstborn, clutching your pregnant belly and wondering what lies in store for you, don’t panic.
Chances are your journey towards having multiple offspring will be smooth sailing, filled with Instagram-worthy moments of endless, beaming love.
But on the days when you’re wondering what on earth made you think having another baby was a good idea?
Well, this book will at least give you something to f*king laugh about…