We didn’t know if we were having a boy or girl when I decorated the nursery...
I did know I wanted a space that felt cosy and gender neutral, which is why I chose a beautiful pale green for the walls called Shutterbug, teamed with crisp white furniture. There has been plenty of pink prettiness added since she arrived though. I wanted it to be a fun, nurturing, interesting space that was functional too, which is why we added a daybed (which comes in handy if she’s sick or unsettled and one of us wants to stay in the room with her) under the window, and a big bookshelf.
You know what’s best for your baby...
So many well-meaning people will try to tell you what to do, but your instincts are amazing. The other thing is that all of the hard parts – losing your own identity for a little while, feeling exhausted, feeling overwhelmed – will pass and soon all you’ll remember is the absolutely wonderful parts of new motherhood, of which there are too many to count.
The hardest part of motherhood? At first, it was losing my sense of myself and my independence...
I had spent so many years doing what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it, it was hard suddenly losing that freedom. I still struggle sometimes. The next hardest thing was letting go of the ‘Mummy Guilt’ everyone talks about – at first I felt like I wasn’t a good mum or a good editor because I was spreading myself thin across both. It took me a few months of being back at work full time and some wise words from my own mum, to make peace with that too. It’s all part of the journey.
Honestly, the juggle is not easy...
Often I feel like I’m not doing a terribly elegant job, but I’m so lucky to have a very supportive, hands-on partner. He makes Evie’s dinner and baths/settles her as much, if not more, than I do, particularly if I have to work late, and during the early days of my second pregnancy when I was hideously nauseous day and night. He was almost a single parent for those long weeks.
Fortunately most of my friends have young children too...
We’re all in the same boat and cut one another plenty of slack. Planning helps, as did having a nanny in the early days of going back to work so I worried less about Evie, knowing she was in safe hands. I’ve also learned to make the most of my work lunch break when I’m not on deadline. That 30-60 minutes is ‘me’ time – I either go to the gym, or get a pedicure, catch up with girlfriends, catch up on life admin like bills, or just sit in my office with the door closed reading a magazine or replying to personal emails.
A happy home is one with lots of laughter and patience...
We laugh all the time in our house, and a lot of that comes from Alex – he has such a warm, charismatic, carefree nature that Evie and I get swept along with him. A family friend once described him as a pathological optimist, which is right, and it’s infectious. We might not have the tidiest, most perfect home all the time, and toys find their way into every corner, but we have fun and give one another all of our attention when we’re together.
The best part of motherhood? Being absolutely besotted with my child (isn’t every parent!?) and sharing that with Alex...
I enjoy the simple things in life now because I have time to notice them. Despite being the busiest I’ve ever been, life is far less social, far less hectic, far less achievement or goal-oriented, which has given me space to enjoy the huge number of simple pleasures around me.
My career changed for the better after becoming a mother...
I can’t work late every night or on weekends anymore, so I’ve learned to work faster, streamline things I would have spent far too long on, and accept that things don’t have to be 100 per cent perfect to still work really well. Most importantly, I don’t worry so much about the little things at all now; small stresses just roll off me because I have a new sense of perspective. Before Evie, I was the first person in the office in the morning, and the last person to leave at night – now it’s the opposite.
I joined Harper’s BAZAAR Australia as deputy editor in 2009, having moved home for family reasons...
I loved working there right up until I was offered the chance to launch Women’s Fitness magazine with the same company (then ACP, now called Bauer) two years ago – that was, and still is, the third of my top career highlights.
I’ve spent most of my working life over the past decade launching big magazines...
It’s been exhausting and challenging, but I do feel like I’ve ticked off so many of my career goals already, it’s easy to shift focus to my family without feeling like I’m missing out. I love what I do and I’m not ready to hang up my mag girl hat yet, but it’s not the be-all and end-all obsession it used to be for me now, which probably makes me a far better, more rounded mag editor, ironically.”
Eighty per cent of what I do is creative, but there’s a strong business and budget element too...
As editor of Women’s Fitness, I oversee all the elements of the brand – the print magazine, our online presence, social media, events, publicity – and liaise closely with people who manage the business side of things, like marketing, advertising, subscriptions and retail distribution. A very clever high profile Australian editor once told me running a magazine is like running small business, and she was right.
It’s wonderful to work on a magazine that (hopefully) helps women feel fantastic and carries a really positive message...
I get constant feedback from our readers about how much the magazine inspires them to live healthier and feel more confident in their own skin. That’s really rewarding, particularly now I have a daughter and want her to grow up with a healthy body image and sense of self.
I know how easy it is to feel your body confidence knocked a little after having a baby...
Particularly if it seems everyone else you know snapped back into perfect shape in just months! For the record, it took me almost 12 months to lose my baby weight – I was in no rush – and by the time I could comfortably fit into my skinny jeans again, I started putting it back on with baby number two!
I’m the only person in my team with a child, and they’re all incredibly sensitive to it...
People understand that my email replies are brief and often sent from my iPhone at all hours these days. I used to travel a lot for work, but made a vow I wouldn’t leave Evie for more than 24 hours for work while she was so young – I send my staff on international trips on my behalf. In the past few months alone, that’s included Los Angeles, London, Las Vegas – they’re happy, clients are happy, Evie’s happy and I dodge any mummy guilt.
Every parent thinks their child does hundreds of cute things – and every child does...
I love that Evie is a chatterbox full of personality, but already has a kindness and gentleness to her too. If she sees another child fall over in the playground or upset, she’ll toddle over, looking very concerned and pat their back to make them feel better. She picks a different stuffed toy to take to bed with her each night, then lies there cuddling it, patting it’s back (like I do to her), lulling it to sleep. She’ll be a wonderful big sister.
My mum was an enormous help...
Every time I got so exhausted I was near breaking point (which happened every few weeks in the early days), she’d fly to Sydney to take Evie from me after middle of the night feeds so I could go straight back to bed. She was a nurse her whole working life, so her patience and ability to function on very little sleep is boundless. One of my closest girlfriends had a baby girl around the same age who was a terrible sleeper too, so it helped a lot to swap war stories by phone, text or over coffee every couple of days. It’s reassuring to know you’re not alone.
Alex was working full time and obviously couldn’t feed, so it didn’t make sense for him to be awake with us both as well...
Alex bought me a small HD TV for the nursery and I’d sit up rocking Evie in the middle of the night or feeding, watching movies with the sound low and subtitles on in the middle of the night. That distracted me and helped with the boredom and feeling isolated. The silver lining: I caught up on so many great films I’d been dying to see – I’m almost looking forward to doing it again with this second bub.
Eat as well as you can – your body needs all the quality fuel it can get...
But if you crave chocolate, don’t be too hard on yourself too (my vice was Kingston biscuits). I was so tired I thought I was going crazy some days in the first few months, but close friends reminded me the exhaustion and three-hourly feeds wouldn’t last forever, so I stopped trying to fight it. I was terribly undisciplined at sleeping during the daytime when Evie slept too, no matter how many times I was told to do it.
There is a Seed Child boutique near my house and I rarely walk out empty-handed...
Likewise if I wander into the David Jones kids department near work at lunchtime. I buy a lot online – Fabrik is literally fab and Bonds is fantastic for basics. I love finding beautiful hand-made pieces at weekend markets – they’re unique and are made with so much love. I spent up big in the kids department at the media opening of H&M in Melbourne recently too.
A lot of things make me smile: my family, my best friends, the ocean and seeing Evie happy...
Better still when all four things are combined. And I absolutely love watching Evie interact with her 10-year-old brother Oliver (Alex’s son from a previous relationship). She absolutely adores him and it makes my heart melt.
I’m proud of my family, but I can’t take credit for creating them...
I’m just lucky to have them. I am proud of the fact I’ve enjoyed a wonderful career in an industry filled with tough, strong-willed, self-interested personalities while staying true to my values of being kind, genuine and honest. You don’t have to be ‘Devil Wears Prada’ tough to be a good magazine editor. Kindness and being pleasant to everyone goes a long way. My father taught me the value of being honest, ethical and thoughtful, and I feel good about the trail I’ve left behind me in work and life. Those are values I want to teach my children too.
Motherhood has taught me so many things...
The biggest for me have been patience, selflessness and that everything doesn’t have to be perfect all of the time. I love structure and the idea of a perfect, tidy home, but these days I’d much rather be playing with my daughter and spending time together as a family than making sure all of the sofa cushions are sitting in the right places!
I never imagined I’d ever be so comfortable with my life revolving around someone else, but it is heaven...
I’ve also learned no one really cares if my hair’s not blow dried and my nails aren’t immaculately manicured all the time. I don’t worry about the small things anymore (well, not so much, anyway).
Motherhood’s also given me an even greater appreciation for my own mum Judith...
I’ve always known she was pretty amazing. If I manage to do even half as good a job as her as a compassionate, wise, ever-present mother juggling work and home, I’ll have done very well. Even now, she’s showing me how to be the perfect grandmother one day too. Family is the most important thing in the world.
Working in magazines for so long means I’ve been lucky to try a lot of beautiful products and treatments...
Over the past two years I’ve tried to go back to basics and switch chemical-free or low chemical products where I can. I love Kosmea, Sukin and MILK products. The first two have amazing Rosehip oils in their ranges – my absolute skin go-to at the moment. I use rosehip on my face (under moisturiser), décolletage, bust and baby bump. It’s really high in antioxidants and has even faded some of the sun damage on the back of my hands in just a few months.
There’s a reason I moved from working in luxury fashion magazines to launch a fitness one two years ago...
I genuinely love exercise and movement and it’s always been an enormous part of my life. I’m a huge advocate for fitness and exercise, but also for it fitting in with your life rather than being a slave to it. I want Evie and her soon-to-be sibling to grow up seeing exercise as fun rather than a chore and something we do as a family.
I saw a fantastic acupuncturist who specialises in fertility...
I saw Naomi Abeshouse at Red Tent in Woollahra (they’ve recently moved to Bondi Beach) the whole way through my first pregnancy, then through the awful morning sickness part of my second. Likewise for my fantastic chiropractor Kate Wood who is an expert in – amongst other things – pregnancy, post birth and treating babies. She saved me from a world of hip and back woes both before and after Evie was born. Having a perfectly aligned spine and hips really helps during labour too.
Alex and I did a Calm Birth weekend course with Lauren Falconer at The Life Pod in Paddington Sydney...
What I loved most about it was that it made Alex feel involved and that he had a big role to play in the birth – what man doesn’t love a good job description? I combined parts of that course that resonated with me, with parts of other books – like Birth Skills by Juju Sundin, and Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin – that resonated with me too. I was still nervous about labour, but excited nervous rather than anxious.
In Sydney, I love the kiddie paddle pool at North Bondi Beach...
I also love the kids playground at Rushcutters Bay in Sydney, which has a cute nautical theme and café next door, and any dog park we come across. She’s too little to run around with the dogs, but her face lights up watching them – she loves animals.
It sounds so clichéd, but seeing all the simple things even more clearly is the best thing that motherhood has given me...
I could spend all morning on a weekend chasing my happy daughter from room to room, reading books, watching her pull everything out of my wardrobes for the hundredth time. And it makes my heart melt to see what a wonderful father Alex is, and to see my parents enjoying time with their only grandchild. Evie absolutely adores all three of them, along with Alex’s parents Gail and Peter.
We’ve never been much for routines or controlled crying in our house...
I think it helps babies and children to know what to expect and that structure and repetition helps them learn, but I read the books but didn’t like the idea of very strict sleep programs – and Evie was never a textbook sleeper, so we forced to go with the flow a little with her. Within reason, from the time she was about five months old, I’ve just followed her natural cues. We eventually settled naturally into a nice routine that suited all of us – Alex and I alternate getting home from work for her at 5.30pm, play for an hour, then dinner 6.30pm, bath at 7pm, bed at 7.30pm. She just refuses to sleep earlier than that.
When Evie was a few months old, we were fast-tracked into a Tresillian Residential Sleep Centre...
Their techniques did help a little, but didn’t work magic. One great trick I learned there though was to have a radio playing softly next to her bed while she slept – Smooth FM was the station-of-choice at Tresillian, so we kept it up at home right up until she was past a year old. She honestly slept so much better when there was music playing. Babies hate silence. I’m a big Smooth FM fan now.
Keep a diary of all the cute things your baby does and when their milestones happened...
You think they’ll be burned into your memory forever, but by the time they’re two years old, half of them will have slipped your mind unless you write them down. (This was one of the best bits of advice my mum gave me – and she was right.) I jot everything down in the notes section of my iPhone.
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Photography: Julie Adams Make-up: Rajja Richani from Napoleon Perdis Words: Georgie Abay
If anyone should know a thing or two about staying fit and healthy while youre pregnant, its the talented, glamorous editor of Womens Fitness magazine Rachel Sharp. Theres a reason I moved from working in luxury fashion magazines to launch a fitness one two years ago I genuinely love exercise and movement and its always been an enormous part of my life. Having said that, Im probably the least fit now Ive been in almost 20 years, given Id rather spend all of my non-work time with my daughter rather than training for half marathons or doing CrossFit, she says. These days, exercise is mostly a family affair. Shell squeeze in a couple of training or yoga sessions a week or a gentle family bike ride or long walk on the weekend, and prenatal yoga when she can find the time. Im a huge advocate for fitness and exercise, but also for it fitting in with your life rather than being a slave to it. I want Evie and her soon-to-be sibling to grow up seeing exercise as fun rather than a chore and something we do as a family, says Sydney-based Sharp, who is not only the mother to 19-month-old Evangeline, but also 25 weeks pregnant with her second child.
Sharp and I have known each other for almost a decade now. When I moved to Dubai, she was the editor of Grazia magazine and a few months after I arrived, she was asked to launch and edit Harpers BAZAAR Arabia and took me on as a writer. When we both moved back to Sydney, we ended up working on Harpers BAZAAR Australia together too. In late 2012, our daughters were born two weeks apart so we spent a lot of our maternity leave together, pushing prams around the park and swapping stories on everything from sleepless nights to swaddling techniques. She’s totally inspiring – even more so now she’s a mother and manages to edit a brilliant magazine while also doing an equally brilliant job raising her daughter.
Sharp says her career completely changed after she had a child – for the better. I cant work late every night or on weekends anymore, so Ive learned to work faster, streamline things I would have spent far too long on, and accept that things dont have to be 100 per cent perfect to still work really well. Most importantly, I dont worry so much about the little things at all now; small stresses just roll off me because I have a new sense of perspective. Before Evie, I was the first person in the office in the morning, and the last person to leave at night now its the opposite. It helps that I have a supportive employer and fantastic magazine staff, and very talented deputy I couldnt juggle my job with a toddler otherwise.
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Speaking of support, she also credits her hands-on fiancé Alex. “He makes Evies dinner and baths/settles her as much, if not more, than I do, particularly if I have to work late,” she says. Her parents are also an incredible source of support. Motherhood has also given me an even greater appreciation for my own mum Judith, who Ive always known was pretty amazing. If I manage to do even half as good a job as her as a compassionate, wise, ever-present mother juggling work and home, Ill have done very well. Even now, shes showing me how to be the perfect grandmother one day too. Family is the most important thing in the world. My father taught me the value of being honest, ethical and thoughtful, and I feel good about the trail Ive left behind me in work and life. Those are values I want to teach my children too.”
Rachel’s little list of loves:
The Ocean I grew up by the beach and would start and finish every day in the water if I could. My partner Alex and I have that in common.
Chai Tea from The Little Marionette in Balmain, Sydney. Chai has been a big craving for both pregnancies, and this is the best-tasting Ive found in Sydney sweet and moreish.
Evies happy face as I walk through the door in the afternoon, while she runs at me squealing Mummeeeee! with arms up.
Port Macquarie. I grew up there and my parents still live in our lovely family home near the beach. We visit them as often as we can, and it always feels like a holiday.
Curling up in my giant comfy new leather feeding chair with Evie on my lap to read a picture book with her. I love that shes already loves her books so much.
A delicate white gold necklace spelling the word kiss in diamonds my parents gave me for my most recent birthday. My dear maternal grandmothers maiden name was Kiss, so its doubly sentimental. I wear it every day.
The Orange Grove Farmers Market in Lilyfield every Saturday morning amazing fresh flowers, organic food, skincare and fantastic coffee. And the kids playground there is great too!
Family bike rides (Centennial Park, The Bay Run, Homebush Bike Park) Evie sits in a fab (and very secure) child seat Alex has installed on his bike.
My iPhone. I know were all too tied to technology these days, but it honestly frees me up to work on the fly from anywhere, which means more time with my family and less in the office.
Shiva Reas Prenatal Yoga DVD – Jillian Davison (former Vogue Australia Creative Director, now Glamour US fashion director) told me about this. I did it constantly through my last pregnancy and do as often as I can now with my second. I find fixed classes really hard to schedule in a DVD is far more flexible (no pun intended).
April 2014
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