Listen to the heart and be as organised as you can...
Motherhood is definitely about compromise, but so is everything; it’s about prioritising. My advice to first time mothers: trust your instincts, you know your baby best and whatever you’re doing is probably best. When you’re a new mum, you need to be kind to yourself and let people help you where they can, getting the groceries etc, so you can sleep when you need to.
We are very fortunate to have my mother take care of Ellul on most of the days I work...
My partner Murray also takes a day a fortnight off to take care of her. Ellul loves spending time with my mum, she feels safe and is always excited when her Gigi arrives. On the two days a week Ellul spends with my mum, she actually stays the night. This allows us two full nights of sleep a week, an opportunity to catch up with friends, uninterrupted time together and the chance to focus on work.
I now work a five day fortnight...
I wasn’t sure how I would feel about work until after I had Ellul. I took 15 months off and during this time, I realised I was a domestic goddess but a better person, mother and partner if I had the balance of work and being a mum. I love going to work and I love being at home. I’m very lucky that I can do both, I have a great partner, employer and mother.
“ To help her sleep, I just try to ensure Ellul is tired, worn out and content ”
We made a few changes to our home to baby proof it, but not many...
We just started teaching Ellul what she couldn’t touch and it seemed to work. I found I had to be very definite and consistent with saying no and guiding her. She responded quickly.
I find Ellul responds well to routine if we keep things consistent...
As she gets older, I’m finding she will sometimes lead the routine, she knows what to do and helps out. For example, if I tell her we are going out, she will get her shoes and turn the heater off and make sure we have the car keys. Small things but it’s very helpful and cute to watch. When it’s dinner time, she likes to get a bib and her spoon herself. We follow a very general routine now Ellul is a bit older. They actually don’t feel like routines any more, just normality. Ellul has a lunchtime nap, so generally we make sure we are at home for that. Then our bedtime routine is dinner, bath and book reading, then a bottle before sleeping for the night. Ellul is really loving Dr Seuss at the moment, she loves the repetition and the rhyming.
Ellul’s train that spells her name was a gift from another friend, bought in Paris...
Ellul’s teepee was our gift to her on her first birthday, we have hours of fun in there. The chair in Ellul’s room was given to me by my partner Murray on my 30th birthday, when I was 30 weeks pregnant.
Ellul’s room is haphazard...
It’s really just filled with special gifts from friends and family, and bits and pieces we pick up along the way that we all love. We actually don’t have that many toys and I’m often storing away anything that she has out grown. Ellul has a bunch of varied sized woven baskets for all her toys, puzzles, paints, that she pulls things in and out of as she plays. Dunlin Home has great storage baskets and Kido have great colouring books. I love Ellul’s collection of white Victorian dresses. I have bought a few and have been lent a few from a special friend.
The day Ellul was born, I had an acupuncture appointment at 9am...
Afterwards, I went shopping to get a bunch of last minute things. I started to feel a bit odd and noticed I was making really strange choices and purchases but I thought it was just because I have an aversion to shopping centres, so I left. When I got home at noon, I called my partner just to let him know I was feeling weird, and thought that maybe it was time. By 12.20pm, I felt what I thought was a contraction and called him again. He was already in the car on the way home. It was on from there. We stayed home, checking in with the hospital every hour. But then at 4pm, it was time to go. Ellul was born at 8pm. It was by no means easy, but was relatively smooth, and reasonably quick. Our plan was a natural birth and we managed to do this.
During winter, I live in jeans, or tailored pants, knits and trainers...
I like Dries Van Noton, The Row, BLK DNM, Dion Lee, Tome and Acne. I still get dressed up at least once a week but since becoming a mum, I do wear trainers a lot more.
We kept the sex of our baby a secret...
I love not knowing, it definitely helped keep the excitement towards the end when I was feeling a little uncomfortable and nervous. I have to admit, I did want a girl.
“Motherhood has taught me so much,” says Sonia Killmore. ”It’s teaching me what lifes all about, showing me a side to life I hadn’t explored. It keeps surprising me.” Killmore a fashion designer lives in a beachside apartment with her 23-month-old daughter, Ellul Bell, and partner, Murray Bell, in Sydney’s Tamarama. ”Most mornings, Murray takes Ellul for a walk as soon as we wake, so I can meditate and shower in quietness. I’m not much of a morning person, so this is heaven to me. Murray or a grandparent are always around which means there is always the opportunity for me to have time to myself, but often I would rather be with my family.”
Killmore took 15 months off after the birth of her daughter, before returning to work part-time. “I love hearing how others do handle the juggle, everyone’s circumstances are very different. I also find it’s always changing. As a child grows their needs change, and so do yours, so you need to respond by changing and doing things differently. My friends and I talk about it a lot. They’re the ones who keep me sane. They are always supportive, grounding and great to laugh with.”
Sonia’s little list of loves:
Family time, especially on the weekends.
I really look forward to the two days a week Ellul and I have together.
Colouring in with Ellul.
Baking.
Ayurvedic massage.
Meditation
Spring night walks.
Photos: Julie Adams Hair: Amanda Kowalevsky from Oscar Oscar Salons in Paddington Makeup: Sarina Zoe Words: Georgie Abay
May 2013