Trust your instincts? Sleep when the baby sleeps? It’s just a phase? Accept help?
We asked our wonderful Instagram followers this very question. Here’s what they said…
Trust your instincts… you know your baby better than anyone else!
My sweet mother used to say “Surrender to it”… all the changes and all curve balls, calmly allow yourself to surrender and adapt.
To only listen to it if you’re asked for it!!! Trust yourself, and trust that you know when to ask for help if you need it.
Be social. The dishes and the washing can wait and go have coffee with a girlfriend. It’s the best thing to keep you sane.
Talk lots but don’t feel down if your baby doesn’t ‘compare’ to other bubs. It all passes and it all comes out in the wash!
Four words: This too shall pass.
My husband championed our parenting mantra: start as we intend to continue. Works for us and our little boy!
It all passes. When you are stuck in a hard bit and u think it will never end, it will.
Everything is temporary – the good and the bad, so soak it all up, every day and always.
You are the one who knows what your baby needs.
Just do what u think is right for u and your baby it will all work out… the best advice though was to wrap/swaddled my baby I did each and every time no excuses and I’m certain that’s why he was such a great sleeper.
Best advice: be kind to each other, and kind to yourself. Parenting is hard work, and none of us are perfect, but we are stronger together.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help and always trust your instincts! (Also be kind to yourself… more so on the really crappy days!)
I was given this advice from a midwife when I felt tired and lonely. Staying at home to raise your child for the first year or so is the best gift you can give your baby. This made me feel better but I know everyone’s circumstances are different. When I feel isolated I remember work can wait.
Don’t be so hard on yourself!
Trust your instincts. Don’t put pressure on yourself and let it flow. And when I’m having a bad day with Bub my mum always says, just remember everything is just a phase. Tomorrow is a new day.
It’s hard, bloody hard, the hardest thing I have ever done. But, it’s the best thing I have ever done. People would tell me, it will be hard today, but tomorrow is another day and it will be different. Soo true. Another tip, when people offer to cook or provide you with a meal or items in the freezer, say ‘yes, that will be lovely’, ‘not, we will be fine’. When you are exhausted, emotional and just need some quick food, a prepared meal means the world. It’s ok to accept help xx
Feed Play Sleep
Trust your instincts.
The sun will come up! #2amfeed #3amfeed #4amfeed #5amfeed
Try not rock them to sleep.
Trust yourself. You know your baby the best.
Don’t sweat the small stuff, especially when they get older (does that 3 day old piece of toast on their bedside table really matter).
Surrender. Just surrender yourself.
Have a shower every day even if your baby is screaming: you’ll feel a lot better. Be kind to your partner. Join a mothers group – mine are wonderful and I couldn’t have lived without them. It doesn’t work for everyone but a rotund of eating and sleeping worked for us: we used Save Our Sleep and it was a life saver!! If you can get a cleaner for the first 6 weeks.
It’s 5 o’clock somewhere so pour some wine.
Trust your gut.
Don’t eat their scraps and always laugh, dance and make time for some crazy. Our world is serious – theirs doesn’t need to be.
Trust yourself. This too shall pass. Whenever you feel you’re going to go insane at home, dress Bub and you up and head out. Bub and I always return home happier, calmer and somewhat normal. Don’t forget hubby too. Date nights changed how my partner could cope with our Bub in our new life.
DO nap when your baby naps. Forget the dishes, your e-mail and everything else: sleep is the single most important thing you can do to keep your sanity and health intact at a time when you are sharing so much of yourself and need to stay patient, loving and as sane as possible.
Babies cry as a way to communicate. Don’t try to make them stop all the time, allow them to express themselves and that it’s ok. Everyone feels good after a good cry.
Yes to the cleaner and to Save our Sleep. Also I was told to remember your baby knows only you as their mummy so no matter what you are the best in their eyes.
Everything is ‘more’ than you thought it would be. It’s harder than you can imagine, you’ll probably be more tired at times than you can possible conceive… BUT… The love you feel is deeper and more intense than you can imagine, the rewards are better. Everything is amplified!
You can have it all. Just not all at once!
Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also, soak it all in as they jump from stage to stage so quickly. My little guy is 15 weeks and I already miss his little newborn days. Every stage is just so special.
Do what works. Throw all books out and trust your gut what’s right for you and your baby. They grow up very quick that looooong bedtime routine, the night feeds all of it one day when you don’t know it your baby has grown out of that phase and you will miss it.
You will never look back and wish you had of done more dishes, vacuumed the house more, did extra washing … You will wish you had have read more stories, hugged more, rolled on the carpet with your baby more, walked in the park more…. You will wish it back…
I’m a mum of two and work supporting mums with mental health issues in my paid job and I always advise mums to scratch their expectations of pregnancy, birth and life with a newborn – because it’s those expectations we place upon ourselves for it all to be just perfect, just right, just like the movies or our best friends version of motherhood or what the media tells us it should be like that makes it a negative experience that ends up overwhelming us and leaves us feeling guilty, not good enough or let down – don’t focus your expectations on what you think it should, stand back, let it unfold and embrace the experience that life gives you, it’s such a personal thing we will all go down that road differently and there is no wrong or right way!
Be flexible… “it’s a rhythm, not a routine” – that little pearl of wisdom really resonated with me, meant it was ok when sleep & nursing times changed, we (Mum & Bub) were figuring it out intuitively together & it wasn’t always going to follow the same time showing as the clock!
Celebrate being a mum! Too often we judge each other instead of celebrating what a great job all mums do. Next time you doubt your ability just think that you’re doing your best and that’s all that matters.
Be persistent and consistent 2). Fake it till you make it 3). STOP Googling 4). Treasure every minute, it goes by in a flash.
I had two good friends tell me to ignore the 3am fights you’ll have with your husband. Pre baby I was like ‘huh?’, post baby I was like ‘ahhh so THAT’S what they meant!’ Good advice. No one means (or knows) what they’re saying at 3am!!
“Pick your battles”
Infinite love and gratitude
Article my son’s father sent me when I was my son came along 6 yrs ago – the same year an earth quake hit a pediatric hospital in Mexico….2 weeks later they were still pulling babies out alive. Babies are resilient. Got me through the first year of motherhood!
Ignore the books and start listening to your gut.
My best advice is that we are not here to be our kids best friend we’re a parent and therefore have a job to ensure we raise our kids as honest, valuable and positive contributors to their community. There will be time enough for friendships once this has been achieved!!
Raise your child to be happy, not perfect.
Get rid of the books.
Breastfeeding is harder than childbirth. Stick with it! Also, clean spilt Weetabix up immediately. That stuff is like flipping concrete.
Sleep when the baby sleeps (just wish I had if done that)
Trust your gut! Don’t listen to all the advice.
Parenting is just trying random things until you get lucky! So true. No one has all the answers! X
My mother used to say similarly that ask as much advice as you need, but no matter what anyone else says, your decisions as a mother or father are the best ones for that little bundle. And also that it’s a roller coaster of guilt no matter what you do… So surrender to it!
A happy mother is better than a crazy mother, so take time for yourself. These words saved me from madness.
Always take help when it’s offered. Don’t be afraid to ask for help either. People really love to help.
Everyone always has an opinion about you as a mum, your kids and the way you raise them. Trust yourself!
Just do what works for you and your kids. Everyone is different.
Relax, do what works for you and your baby, and have no expectations of how things should be x
Listen to my mum – she’s always right.